For the leader who says “let’s double-click on that” and has never double-clicked on anything.
$125,000A one-time career decision.
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE, DELIVERED FLAT.
Your next
promotion
is behind you.
Photorealistic fold-out bookshelves that say
“I have equity” before you say “you’re on mute.”
Starting at $89,500. Qualifications sold separately.
★★★★★Highly regarded by people who regard themselves highly.
EXECUTIVE PRESENCE: ON
You, but more senior
THE CORNER OFFICE COLLECTION / NO. 001
Assembles in 30 seconds
Promoted by the next all-hands
Zero reading required
Meet your new backgroundTHE CORNER OFFICE COLLECTION
Choose your unearned advantage.
Six shelves. Six entirely new personalities.
Find the background your résumé deserves.
Three books. One bonsai. A valuation that makes absolutely no sense. You’re seeing what others can’t.
$250,000A one-time career decision.
For people who work “Cancún, 2019” into every conversation. Yes, all those trophies came with the shelf.
$89,500A one-time career decision.
The only thing shipped this quarter was the Death Star.
$262,144A one-time career decision.
We removed the plant. It wasn’t revenue-generating.
$349,999Before adjustments.
A safe space to discuss why your role no longer exists.
$175,000From the wellness budget.
Every shelf is a photorealistic, freestanding fold-out backdrop.Books pictured have not been read by anyone in leadership.
YOUR 30-SECOND SUCCESSION PLAN
Unfold. Log on.
Let them make assumptions.
30sec.
Set the fold-out behind your chair. Point your camera at it. Explain that you have a hard stop at the top of the hour.
Folds flat again when your roommate needs the living room.
FICTIONAL PEOPLE. REAL EXECUTIVE ENERGY.
The shelf speaks
for itself.
“I was an SDR for 3 months. After ordering my shelf, I was the CRO within weeks.”
“People used to join my meeting 5 minutes late. Now they’re in my waiting room 10 minutes early.”
“A VC saw the bonsai and wired us $8 million. We still haven’t told him what we do.”
THE BUSINESS CASE IS BEHIND YOU.
You can’t put a price
on your career.
We did anyway.
At $125,000, The CRO’s Nest is an investment in the person people assume you are.
Your finance team may ask for the ROI.
We’ve prepared some extremely confident numbers.
THE EXECUTIVE MULTIPLIER™FINANCE-ISH
$50k$500k
PROJECTED FIRST-YEAR ROI+3,000%
You’re basically losing money by having a wall.
- Your imaginary new compensation
- $4,000,000
- Your very fictional shelf investment
- $125,000
- Books you’ll need to read
- 0
Our model multiplies your salary by 32 because 32 sounded board-ready. ROI = (imaginary annual raise − shelf price) ÷ shelf price. These numbers are made up. Please don’t send them to Finance.
YOUR CAMERA IS ON. MAKE IT COUNT.
Someone less qualified
already has a better bookshelf.
Choose your promotion Ships flat. Arrives senior.